Anxiety

Anxiety 

Anxiety. We have all heard of it. We have all experienced feelings of anxiousness. Whether it was nervousness and unease when going for a job interview or sitting an important exam, we have all felt it at some point in our lives. It is often a completely normal feeling however an anxiety disorder is much different than the occasional worry. When feelings of anxiousness persist for a long period of time and often may even come without direct cause, it is a sign you could be facing an anxiety disorder. Beyond Blue states that in Australia alone 3 million people are living with an anxiety disorder. Keeping in mind those are statistics of the people who have actually been diagnosed. Almost a third of Australia’s population will experience an anxiety condition making anxiety one of the most common mental disorders. Anxiety conditions include but are not limited to, generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), social anxiety disorder and panic disorder. The causes of these disorders remains unknown but are more than likely stem from experiences in one’s childhood or adolescence.

The following story is sourced from an interview with one of our amazingly strong participants who themselves, struggles with an anxiety disorder. 

Anxiety, my biggest enemy. You derailed my life. You took everything from me. Anxiety is so strange. It is different for everyone, some people say they can’t really pin point why or when their anxiety began some people know exactly when and what caused it to come on. I think I know when and why mine did. As a kid nothing knocked me down, it didn’t matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t wipe that smile off my face but growing up you begin to make and lose friends, you’re being taught lessons you hadn’t known were there to be learnt someday. A lot can happen in the early years of your life up until you’re adolescence. Though the causes of anxiety disorders remains unknown, it is said that it can be triggered by things such as mental and physical abuse and traumatic events especially in our adolescence. 

I had already been having quite a rough year, between school and home even work. I was feeling overwhelmed the majority of the time. I am lucky to be able to say most of my teenage years I didn’t really experience too much anxiety. In some cases, there are people who have suffered anxiety most of their life. For me it was one specific event, a trauma that had brought on my anxiety. I didn’t realise how much one thing could change every single other thing in your life. Every single part of my life felt like it had changed so instantly. I didn’t think things could get much worse. What I didn’t realise is that it wouldn’t just stop there one day, no matter how much I had wished it would. You know that horrible feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you’re told awful news or you’re right about something you really wanted to be wrong about. That began happening all the time. That’s what living with anxiety is like. The feeling of constant dread. Feeling on edge and being completely fearful of everything that lies ahead or might’ve even re-dug itself up from the past. I couldn’t escape it. Even without any stressors or triggers present, that feeling in the pit of my stomach remained, and it took the life out of me. 

Anxiety makes almost every single aspect of life harder, but the hardest thing for me personally was watching my relationships with people change. For others it could be a variety of other things, like changes in appetite, the difficulty to sleep, the correlation between itself and depression. For me it was my relationships. I don’t know how else to explain other than the feeling of having a constant yelling noise in the back of my mind at all times. I could try my very best to drown it out and laugh at my friends jokes but its always there haunting me. I just wasn’t the same to be around anymore. I withdraw myself from those who cared for me, because I didn’t want them to be the ones to do it. Self- isolation is a huge factor that comes into your life when struggling with anxiety. There are a number of reasons people begin to isolate themselves. For me, I found reassurance was something I needed constantly so I began to feel as though I was a handful to hang out with. Therefore, I started to withdraw myself from most of my relationships. I found it extremely difficult to focus, how to talk to everyone without completely disassociating for most of the conversation. I felt like everyone around me could see it in my face; that I was one second away from an anxiety attack. I became hyper aware of myself and things around me. Conversations about pretty much anything triggered my anxiety. It even got to a point where I felt physically ill most of the time, much like that feeling you get with bad news I mentioned earlier. Along with taking my mental strength it even had me physically weak in the knees when it got bad enough. One thought produced another, and then another. With every thought came a wave of nausea, and then my whole body began to shake. I could barely stand or do anything in the midst of an anxiety attack.

If you are someone who struggles with an anxiety disorder, it is vital to understand you are not alone. Self- isolation as talked about briefly above, is extremely common when dealing with poor mental health, however it is not the answer. You are not too much, you deserve patience and support from those who love you. We all need help sometimes and that is not something to be embarrassed about.There are things like the expressive and gratitude journalling we have covered in one of our previous blogs that can really intervene with negative thought patterns associated with anxiety. The box method is another small activity that can assist immensely when you begin to feel anxious. It requires you to count your breaths assisting in taking your mind off of whatever is triggering you while also slowing down your breathing. Remember that everyone has a battle they are fighting behind closed doors, be kind to everyone. Reach out to someone you trust whether that’s a doctor, a friend or anyone you feel comfortable to open up to. It takes a few minutes of courage to speak up about what you’re going through to begin your journey of kicking anxiety’s butt!

Written by, J J Barnshaw.